Yesterday's my mom's birthday and I was supposed to be happy but it seems that the world don't allow me to be. My day's been ruined. How could you be happy if people don't even care to understand how you feel? That's pretty patethic. We had our exams in the morning and it was supposed to be at 7 am but our proctor didn't arrive. We waited so long for someone to go in our room to look for us while we are having our exams but it was already 8 am and still no one came and our exams haven't started yet. So che, marvin and me decided to go to the office and ask who will be our substitute proctor but it's as if they don't know who will take over... that's the start of everything. And so we waited 'till someone went to our room and give us our exams. It was already 9 when we started it. Before we started, our proctor asked us about our exam permit. We are not allowed to take our exams without the permit because it's already finals. So what happened? Ayun, 7 lang kaming nag - exam sa technical writing at 3 sa business policy. Hindi kasi sila inallowed ng proctor na mag - take ng exam dahil wala silang permit. After the exams, me and my groupmates decided to have our dance practice for the presentation on Saturday. That presentation will be our final exam in Humanities: Arts Appreciation. Nakapagpractice na naman kami nung nakaraan at may nabuo na rin kaming steps. Finally, nasusundan ko na rin s'ya after I suffer too much para lang makuha 'yung mga 'yun. Then later afternoon, my classmate told me and my other group mates that there will be someone who will teach us the dance. I supposed dadagdagan lang n'ya 'yung steps na nabuo na namin at pinractice ng ilang araw pero nagulat na lang ako when all of the steps were changed.... hah! What do you expect me to feel? After ng ilang araw naming pagparactice at ilang araw kong pag - iisip kung pano 'ko magpepresent sa Saturday, eto binago na lahat. I really feel bad that time. Sino ba namang hindi di ba? I know that they know that I'm bad in dancing. I don't want to do it and I will never do it for no reason. Kung hindi dahil sa grade 'yun then they can never asked me to do it. But it seems that they don't understand. I know it's not their fault that I was born with stiff body and two left feet. it's neither my fault. O.k. lang sana if the steps were easy to follow pero hindi. Well siguro for them it's easy pero para sa'kin? Baka sampung taon bago ko matutunan lahat 'yun. Sounds shallow pero if they will gonna ask me, I really want to quit. Kung hindi maha - hang 'yung grade ko kung magkuquit ako eh! di matagal ko nang ginawa 'cause I really don't want to do it. Kung music na lang sana 'yan eh! di hindi ko na 'yan poproblemahin. I'd sing happily in front of the class. Pero wala naman akong choice eh! 'Yun kasi ang sinabi sa'min. Now, I was thinking if I will attend our class on Saturday or I'll lock myself inside my room so no one will disturb me. Ayoko na talaga! Sila na lang sumayaw dun tutal gusto naman nila 'yun. I'm not mad at them and I shouldn't get mad at them dahil lahat naman kami gagawin 'yun. It's just that I can't force myself to do things that I don't want, that I can't. I know my capacity. Sarili ko 'to kaya alam ko kung ano ang kaya kong gawin at hindi. If only they understand that. I don't want to humiliate myself in front of the whole class and be tagged as "trying hard" or wait for the next day when the whole world will tell me that "you're such a jerk in the dance floor" or something like "She's the dancing bamboo, trying to make her way up"... damn! I feel like I'm in hell and I was doing a hell shitty thing and I'm making the whole presentation looks like hell that I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Oh! God help me with this. Don't wanna be on hell anymore. Last week and this week's like hell for me. I just want to take a break.
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