Poem

Writing is one of my greatest hobby. Whenever I'm bored or I have nothing else to do, I usually write. My friends knew about it cause they are the ones who usually read my work... (and I thank them for reading it though it's not that good). Last Monday night, I'm on our dining room doing my school work. It's already 12 am when I finished it but I'm not sleepy yet so I decided to get my pen and paper and write something. Then I come up with a 6 stanza poem. I never thought that I'll be able to write it because I find it hard to find the right words to match the first line. I'm so happy that I'm able to write a poem again after a long time. I thought I already forgot how to write but I did maybe because I've struggled a lot during the past few days. Now, I decided to post that poem here in my blog since this serves as my diary. O.k. enough of the sayings... here's what I'm talking about:

EACH TIME I GET WEAK

There are so many questions in my mind

Looking for answers but I still can't find

Feeling so broken and lost inside

Just like a lost little child.

There are times that I want to give up

Wishing all this pain to stop

Sometimes people makes me feel like a crap

That I hope they'll just get off my back.

There are a lot of things that they can't understand

But I just keep it within and let them say what they want

And sometimes they became rude that I just can't stand

Those times that I felt I'm holding sand in my hands.

But just when I thought I'm all alone

Someone took my hand and lead me home

Give me a shelter when I was cold

And with his hands all my worries are gone.

There's always a rainbow after the rain

A cure in every person's pain

Now I don't care whatever people will say

Cause I know God is with me all the way.

So when the time comes that I'll be trapped or tricked

I won't be afraid and will still reach the peak

And though there'll be a moment that I won't be able to speak

I know He'll be there each time I get weak.

Hope you like my poem! Happy reading!!!

Finding the Missing Me

My first post for this year. I've been busy with school... as usual. I'm always busy at school right? And I'm already used to it. It's just that I realized that I'm getting out of sync for a past few days. What's happening? It seems like I've been out of myself that I forgot some of my responsibilities as a student and that I've been stucked somewhere else that I can't find away to get back to my old self, to my usual things. My grades was good but I've noticed that it's a bit lower than before. I'm still wondering why it's like that and now I keep asking myself what's really happening with me. Now, I realize that I better get myself back. I should find the missing person that I am so I'm starting to be what I was before and even make myself better. I'm starting to regain what I lose. I'm studying more so I could make my grades up and though it gives me a lot of pressure, I still give my best to do it. Just like what I always say to myself, I will never quit. I can do it... aja!!!

Christmas Break

After all my struggles these past few weeks until this day, finally Christmas break na!... yahoo! Last day na kasi ngayon ng class namin sa school at bukas ay start na ng Christmas break. Excited talaga kong mag - Christmas vacation ngayon, nakakapagod din kasing mag - aral at sobrang dami rin naming activities so I badly need this break. This week, two days din akong umuwi ng late because of our catering. Hindi tuloy ako nakasama kay mama na magsimbang gabi so she needs to go there by herself. Sayang, hindi ko mabubuo ang 9 days I mean nights pala. 7 p.m. kasi ang simbang gabi dito sa'min sa halip na madaling araw. I don't know why. Siguro dahil hindi kami sa bayan nakatira. Dun kasi located ang simbahan ng Alfonso at chapel lang dito sa Luksuhin. Pero at least may simbang gabi pa rin di ba? I'm really excited for Christmas. Uuwi kasi ang kuya ko with his family. 'Yun nga lang, hindi sila sa bahay magno- noche buena cause he still needs to attend a baptism ceremony kaya gabi pa sila ng 25 makakauwi. Masaya pa rin 'yun. I really miss my brother so o.k. lang kahit anong oras s'ya makarating basta makauwi lang s'ya. Haay! Thank God for all His help on me. I finally survived the pressure and stress.

Rest day

It's Sunday at wala akong pasok ngayon. Buti na rin kasi I was so stressed this week... haay! Rest day ko ngayong araw na 'to kaya nilulubos ko na... haha! I still have three days left next week bago ang Christmas vacation. May dalawa pa kaming exam sa Wednesday, Sales and Marketing at Arts Appreciation. Pero bago 'yun, kailangan pa naming magmarket bukas dahil sa Tuesday na ang Departmental Christmas party na ioorganize namin. Kumusta naman 'yun? Nauna pa ang party sa exam. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganun ang sked namin ngayon.But I'm happy kasi malapit na ang Christmas break. Rest day na talaga... yahoo! I dropped at Mae's blog earlier. Namiss ko tuloy s'ya lalo. For sure busy rin s'ya ngayon kasi Prelims na. Buhay estudyante nga naman.

Nanood nga pala ko ng Asian Idol kagabi. O.k. naman si Mau. As expected, magaling talaga s'ya. I wish she'll win. Pride kasi ng Pinas 'yun. Tsaka magaling naman s'ya talaga. At talagang binigyan pa ko ni mama ng pangload kagabi para lang iboto s'ya... haha! Nakakatawa si mama kagabi kasi talagang pinaboto n'ya ko ng dalawang beses kay Mau at bumoto naman ako. Sana talaga manalo s'ya hindi lang dahil sa binoto ko s'ya kundi dahil deserving s'yang manalo. Go Pinoy!

Meeting an old friend

Just got home from school. Wala naman kaming scheduled exam ngayon pero pumunta pa rin ako ng school dahil pa rin sa event sa Tuesday. Wala naman naging problema ngayong araw na 'to. As expected, kami lang ulit tatlo ang pumasok... haay! What's new? But at least may naplano na ulit kami. I was supposed to go home at 3 pm pero naextend ang pagtigil ko sa school kaya 4 na rin ako nakauwi. I was heading to the jeep terminal when a girl called me... Si Den. Medyo nagulat pa ko nang makita ko s'ya kanina. Medyo matagal na rin since I last saw her. She stopped studying since the start of the sem this school year, bale 2 sems na s'yang tigil. May pupuntahan pala s'ya kanina malapit sa school namin kaya napadaan s'ya dun. She asked me how everyone's doing so I started to tell her everything... all those pressure and stuff and what's happening in our department. I also asked her and she told me that she's working at Sun Cell in Sta. Rosa. I asked her when will she go back to school and she told me that maybe next year she'll be able to come back when she already have enough savings for enrollment. I'm really happy to see her again. She's my closest friend in school and she knows everything about me. I really miss her. I hope she'll come back to school and study again next year. My life in school will be a lot easier if she's around. I really miss our chats. We really have a strong bonding kaya nanibago ako nung tumigil s'ya tapos tumigil din 'yung iba pa naming tropa because of some reasons. Miss ko na silang lahat. Haay! life! I just hope that all of them are o.k. and me?... I'll be o.k.... AJA!!!

Where is honesty?

My mom woke me up at exactly 4:30 this morning. May strike daw kasi ngayon so kailangan kong magmadali kasi baka wala na akong masakyan. Though I still like to sleep, I crawl out of bed and prepare for school. Late na kasi akong natulog dahil sa pagrereview kaya hirap akong gumising. Buti na lang at maaga ring nagising si mama kaya ready na lahat pag baba ko. It was still dark when I rode the bus. Konti pa lang din ang tao nung sumakay ako. Mabilis lang ang byahe kaya maaga kong nakarating ng pala - pala at nakasakay ng jeep. At exactly 7 am eh! nasa school na ko. Nakasabay ko pa nga si Che - che papasok ng campus kasi saktong pagbaba ko ng jeep eh! kadarating lang din n'ya. Our proctor was not yet there when I arrived. Engl4 (Technical Writing) ang first exam namin. Well, o.k. lang naman s'ya. Not easy but not so hard. After 15 minutes, Business policy naman ang exam namin. The exam was difficult. Parang tinititigan ko muna 'yung questionnaire bago ko s'ya masagutan... haay! I just hope I'll be able to pass that exam kasi medyo marami rin 'yung blanko ko. But at least I tried my best to answer it... as in I try. I was kinda upset because of what's happening around when we were taking that test especially when our proctor went out. Nainis talaga ako. You know, you slept so late to review for you to pass the exams tapos nung nandun na, parang walang pakialam ang mga tao sa paligid mo? Well, I don't care about what they're doing. Alam n'yo na siguro kung ano. I don't give a damn to them cause they were the one doing it and not me. It's just that I feel that they don't care if what they were doing was wrong. Parang wala lang. Hindi na nila naisip na masama 'yun. They just continue doing it. You might think na masyado naman akong nagmamalinis pero alam kong mali 'yun so inilayo ko ang sarili ko sa ganun. O.k. lang sana kung assignment 'yun pero major exam?... that's a foul. I better fail than cheat. O.k. lang kahit mababa ang grades ko basta alam kong galing sa utak ko 'yun... sa nireview ko at sa kung anong natatandaan ko. Habang nangyayari 'yun, na - feel ko na parang may sarili akong mundo sa gilid ng classroom kung saan ako nakaupo. O.k. lang. I'll better be stucked in that world kesa gumawa ng hindi magandang bagay. Sa kanila na lang 'yun. During that time, all I do was pray and asked God for guidance. I asked Him to keep me away from that bad thing that was happening around me. I know He's watching us and he knows everything that happened. Basta ako, I know I give my best shot and if isn't enough then I'll do better next time. It's hard to be honest but I'm glad I did.

I'm Gonna Win!

"Dark is the night, I can weather the storm. Never say die, I've been down this road before. I'll never quit. I'll never lay down. See I promised myself that I'd never let me down." Just a few lines from Brian Mcknight's song "Win". I think this is my theme song at this moment. This is a long day for me. I've been very busy preparing for our prelim exams and stuff. Before I left the house, my mom was asking me of what time will I be going home. She knows that my class is just until 1:30 but since I told her that we have a meeting about our Departmental Christmas Party, she asked me of what time will I arrive home. She told me to wash my uniform if I will be home early cause she can't do it for me. They have to attend my cousin in law's internment this afternoon. I told her that I'll just wash my uniform when I got home. I wasn't really in the mood cause I was supposed to go with them but I can't because of my classes. My first class is supposed to be at 10:30 a.m. today but I came to school at pass 11 already... hah! I'm late! I plan not to attend my first class cause it's really late. I was heading at the 2nd. floor of our main building when I saw my classmates outside room 205 where we were supposed to have a class. I asked them why they were not entering the room and they told me that our professor wasn't around yet because of her meeting. They also said that maybe she will no longer attend our class because it's really late. Thank heavens for that! I won't be marked absent. I entered the room and sat beside my classmate who used to be my acquaintance in school. Then after a few moments, we had an argument about our Departmental Christmas Party. All third year students were assigned to organize that event because it's part of our exam in FoodProd but sad to say, only few people do the assigned responsibilities. Maybe that's the reason why he started to nag at me and my other classmate who's in the room (actually, it was just five of us in that room because my other classmates all went out). He said things that I can't take anymore that's why I got mad and walked out of our room. I'm patient but I was so fed up that time. I just can't contain the madness. Why does he keeps on nagging at me when he doesn't know what's really happening with my life? Sometimes, people really tends to be self centered. So the best way I thought I could do was to get out and leave him and let my madness went away. I didn't talk to him for a while but good thing everything was settled before the day ends. We went to the class of other students in our department and explained what will going to happen on the event. I was really tired and hungry and we still have our exam tommorrow so I still need to review... we still need to review but I can't go home and just leave my obligations behind. Also one of our professors told us that we still have a meeting so I stayed at school until 5:30 p.m. I just decided to go home when I felt that there'll be no meeting that will happen. I'm really pressured. I can feel it. I wasn't a born leader and I'm not even trained to be one. I used to be a follower when I was in gradeschool and highschool but eveything changed when I got to College. It's like people expects a lot from me that I can't even handle the pressure on my shoulders. I know I need to do all those things but I also need their help. If only they knew what I feel. I could just imagine how they were like when they were in my shoes. I need their cooperation. Not just two or three or four people. I hope they realize that. But as I told myself, I won't ever give up. I can do all of these. I believe I can and I know someone will help me from up there. I'll hold on to my faith. And as the song goes... "I'll never give up. I'll never give in. Never let a ray of doubt slip in. And if I fall, I'll never fail. I'll just get up and try again. I'll never lose hope, never lose faith. There's much, too much at stake. Upon myself I must depend. I'm not looking for place ashore. I'M GONNA WIN!"